We Live In Patterns: How to Free Yourself From Insecurity
Announcement: Shine Your Light will move from one long weekly post to shorter, more digestible daily posts. You’ll find it quicker to read while allowing more depth for each topic. I plan to compile each week’s posts into one for those who prefer to read everything in one post.
We’re creatures of habit. We seek patterns in everything because patterns are easier for our brains to comprehend. They are a mental shortcut. And we live in patterns, too.
We respond to (and create) patterns in our lives. We can get stuck in a pattern for years without realizing it. Ending a pattern requires a ‘pattern interrupt’ - a behavior change that leads you in a different direction, which breaks the pattern.
In his book Every Thought Captive, Kyle Idleman shares 5 common patterns we tend to get stuck in. This week we’ll discuss those patterns, starting with the first one:
PATTERN #1: The Pattern of Insecurity
This is the age of insecurity. We face algorithms that seek to undermine our self-worth and manipulate our beliefs. They’re carefully designed to control our thoughts and behaviors.
Insecurity is caused by caring too much what others think of us, comparing ourselves to other people, and allowing negative self-talk to define our self-perception.
Social media provides unlimited points of comparison, ensuring you’ll constantly feel like you’re ‘not enough’. No matter how good you’re doing, there’s someone who is doing better. When you scroll social media, your mind subconsciously compares your life to what you see on the screen.
That leads to self-criticism and disappointment. We create imaginary, impossible ideals and feel like we never measure up. We set ‘huge’ goals and then wonder why we never seem to get any closer to them.
“Breaking this cycle requires more than just positive thinking or behavior change. It demands a fundamental rewiring of our thought patterns, replacing lies with truth and learning to see ourselves through God’s eyes rather than the distorted mirror of our insecurities. It means building a new pattern of thought based on our identity in Christ.” - Kyle Idleman
Thankfully, the solution to this crisis is simple. It starts with seeing yourself the way God sees you instead of the way the world sees you. The world sees you as just another data point, a replaceable cog in the machine. God sees you the way He fearfully and wonderfully made you.
Instead of trying to find your worth in social media posts, discover it through Bible study and prayer instead. In reading the Scriptures, we see our true worth reflected in God’s love for us. Here are a few examples:
Luke 12:6-7 - “Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Psalm 139:14 - I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”
Isaiah 61:10 - I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Insecurity is the result of focusing on ourselves. Breaking this pattern simply requires a change in focus. Focus on God and His purpose for you. Focus on other people and practice kindness, forgiveness, and generosity.
Self-obsession guarantees misery. That’s why, throughout His ministry, Jesus exhorts us to die to ourselves and serve others. ‘Dying to yourself’ means surrendering your will and choosing to follow God’s will for your life instead.
Matthew 23:11-12 - But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.
I’ve been learning that the hard way lately. Any time I’m feeling hopeless, I look at where my focus is. The more I’m focused on myself, the more miserable I feel. Practicing acts of kindness, reading Scripture, and praying for others helps me put my focus back where it should be.
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